I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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