If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize