I want to stick my p in your. b.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
