Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
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At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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