I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
