I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize