so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I lost the right to judge tonight
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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