I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
