I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So squirting runs in the family.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I deserve this hangover.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
