By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
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He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So vagazzling was a success
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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