ugly people sure do ruin things
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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