I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You took a bar mat shot.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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