I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
