My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I don't deserve a penis
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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