You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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