either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
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i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
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I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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