the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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