high people should be assigned attendants
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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