You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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