Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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