PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Well I just put wine in my tea
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Randomize
