Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
