Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
