I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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