Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
