Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
