Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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