I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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