the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
