nut hugger
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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