we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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