elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
