some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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