well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
