That's when you crack a 10am beer
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
