think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
