I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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