I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize