p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
