No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Im part way to drunk.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
