I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
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And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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