I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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