my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
