peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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