Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
