I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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