He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I look better un-naked...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
