My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
