forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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