We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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