Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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