sarcasm needs its own font
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
there is puke in my bra ... again
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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