the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This is the high leading the old right now
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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