Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
All the doctor said was why
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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