Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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