you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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