i don't like sucking hair
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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