thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
